If you were like me and the rest of black Twitter last night, you watched and tweeted incessantly as Iyanla Vanzant spoke into the life of well-known reality personality Evelyn Lozada on Iyanla: Fix My Life. If you have no idea who Evelyn is and why this would be so interesting, let’s just say Ms. Lozada fits to bill for the stereotypical, loud, abrasive- and sadly, violent women we often see depicted on network reality tv. But last night, Evelyn’s life- and even some of ours- was touched by beginning to peel back the layers of years of hurt, bad decisions and taking accountability for who and what we allow to come into our lives.
While the episode of Fix My Life last night focused on romantic relationships, a few of the lessons can be applied to our lives in general. Let’s take a look at a few:
1. We teach people how to treat us.
Man, ain’t this the truth. As we go about our daily lives, our behavior and the things we say dictate to others how they will treat us. My mother always tells me to ‘walk with my head up…command the room when I walk in.’ I used to think she was just being a mother but I get it now: As soon as you walk into a room, that is the start to how people perceive you. Why not start out on top? Further, what we allow people to say to us- and the way they say it- surely tells them what they can get away with- and not. Trust me, there are very few people in this life who will have the audacity to speak out of turn to me. It’s not a matter of arrogance on my part, it’s a matter of mutual respect.
2. Until being treated badly becomes unacceptable in thought, word and deed….
You see Evelyn allowed her
almost ex husband, Chad Johnson, to treat her badly before they even got married. However, it did not become unacceptable to Evelyn until he physically damaged her face. Why let him damage your soul for ever and get a way with it but as soon as it touches your ego it matters? #Priorities The same lesson can be learned for us on our jobs. If you are not being valued daily, why allow it be be okay…until you get hit with a pink slip, then you want to fight back. You deserve better. Do better.
3. What’s the truth you didn’t tell?
This question sent our Twitter timelines into a frenzy! Why? I believe it’s because it hits the closest home. It forces us to be accountable. If you’ve ever been lied to, you know how violated you feel and how hurt and angry you become because someone didn’t honor you enough to tell you the truth. I know, I’ve been there. However, what truths haven’t we told that got us into our respective situations? We may not have verbally lied, but we may have withheld truths, agendas or certain key story pieces that could have made things easier. I’m not saying being lied to or hurt by someone you care about is right- because it isn’t. But we all can afford to remove to mask we wear so we can become accountable for our own behavior.
That all said, how are you being responsible for you? Are you eating healthy? Exercising? Giving your mind and body the chance to rest? This all impacts how we perform on a daily basis; it is key to a healthy work-life balance. Working full speed ahead without pausing to give yourself a break will kill you. Knowing how to be our best selves while working and living personally will make us better all around. Join us this Sunday for our FREE webinar featuring guest expert Sharon Carter, Life Coach to Teens & Millennial Women. Let us help you get your life! Register Today!